Two days of hell, that’s how it felt. How did I ever go so long feeling like this before?! Having to do it again for only two days, I keep asking myself this.
Well if there was any question before on whether or not the medication helps… there are certainly no questions now! I had two horrible feeling days this week. I didn’t know why, the days themselves were perfectly fine, but I felt such despair. Apathy for life, for anything I enjoy. And then on the second day, after talking to DrH on our lunch call and crying, after finally taking my medication that day I realized what was going on. My stomach hadn’t been feeling the best and so I didn’t eat much breakfast. That totally threw off my groove, and I had forgotten to take my Zoloft for a day and half.
Yep, a day and a half. I did take it the second day at lunch like I said, so it wasn’t even a full two days without it. And I learned the importance of ALWAYS remembering to ALWAYS take my medication. I learned the hard way. I can’t forget even one day, or the depression comes swooping in.
As much as I hated feeling like that for two days (seriously about 30 min after taking the Zoloft I started to feel a little better, but still really emotional) I am glad for what they taught me. I didn’t really have any doubts about if the medication was helping, but taught me how much it helps. It taught me to be vigilant about taking it. It taught me, again, that it’s not my fault when I feel that way. There’s nothing that I’m doing wrong, I’m not broken, or worthless. I simply have a medical issue that thankfully can be taken care of. It taught me to be grateful for the ability to take care of it; to be grateful for the medication.
I always thought I don’t want to have to take medication to be normal! But you know what?! We don’t ever think that about diabetics, or people who need heart medication! Why do we when it comes to mental health medication?! I saw the difference slowly come about as I started taking Zoloft, and we worked to find the right level for me. But man did I see the stark difference quickly before, during, and after those two days! I also told myself that it was just stress of life, and that I could work it out myself. And now seeing how much better I feel, how much more I love life and doing things, I wish I had done it sooner! (Sorry DrH!)
Learn from my mistakes people! Don’t wait, enjoy life sooner. Medication has made a world of difference in my life! And counseling has helped me work through many issues from my past, and in getting rid of the lies you feel are true from dealing with depression. Do it now!
(pict source here)