Perusing the blogs I follow I stumbled upon this post from Young&Twenty. In the post she talks about learning life lessons from Disney movies, and the top one caught my eye.
1. Peter Pan taught us to let go of our pasts and the familiar we’ve lived to know. It taught us the gain in growing up and growing vulnerable. There’s beauty in the future as long as we keep the beauty of our past.
And my first thought was What is the beauty from my past? Dealing with secondary infertility, depression and anxiety it is hard most days to see the beauty and good now, let alone even conceiving of thinking about it in the past. But I have a goal to be more positive in my life, and this post was great for making me think about the positive and beauty not just now but in the past as well. I also believe that beauty can even come from not so positive events, many times great beauty comes from tragedy. And let’s face it, most of us would rather remember the good from the past instead of the bad.
Of course I won’t write about everything in this post, but will write more in others under this title. So let’s start with the awkward teenage years, High School. I am extremely glad not to have married my high school boyfriend. But back when he broke up with me (a week before Prom Sr. year) I was broken hearted. I knew it was coming, I could tell. He was nice enough to still take me to Prom, saying that he knew I already had my dress, and that it was too late for anyone else to ask me. That was one of the most painful dates in my life. My “pity prom.” But the beauty from that time is something that has had an effect on choices later in life (up to today even). He had talked about wanting his future wife to stay home with the kids to raise them.
This was not a new concept to me. Our church encourages SAHM-ing because of the good it can have in families and teaching kids. But I had never before thought about it. Not in a it’s not even a thought of course I am going to … or not going to. But I had never actually thought about it before, and his saying this got me to think about it for the first time. Did I want to be a SAHM?
And I found that I did. This beauty has made our lives what they are today. We made sacrifices to make it happen, but I am so glad that I spent this time at home with my boys! And even more grateful for it now that they are both in school.