This morning was hard. I’ve been trying to go run at the gym on Mondays and Thursdays (yay).Today I got up and REALLY wasn’t feeling like going. But I told myself that if I workout well this month I can get a new pair of shoes or something, so that helped me get into the workout clothes. Then of course the boys are taking their sweet time getting ready and in the car for school, so I of course am getting more grumpy. Finally get them off and head towards the gym, slowly cuz of traffic. Cuz it’s snowing. Again! Negotiating with myself on the way that I’ll do the elliptical instead of the treadmill. Get there and actually do the treadmill. Still not feeling awesome, which is lame because I did great! Find myself emotionally unbalanced and realizing it. Crying through some uplifting YouTube and such trying to help myself feel better.
This was my morning.
Seriously people, I was feeling a little like running away. Ugh being responsible can sometimes suck!
And then change. Medicine started kicking in (have to take it after I workout so I don’t get nauseous), uplifting videos kicking in and helping me lift the mood. Start feeling less alone and crazy and DEPRESSED.
And then I come here to write and suddenly I’m seeing change in a different way. I am grateful for it. Without it I’d still be stuck in depression. I’m not saying I’m going to like or be grateful for all changes, but maybe start seeing the good ones too. For what they are- Change. Not just something good that happens, but change.