Why is it so hard to be present in today? Our minds always in the past or the future. Always waiting for it to get better, next time, last time, the next big thing, the good old days. Rarely content to enjoy today, to see what we have now.
Yesterday I had to watch them constantly, change diapers, potty train, feed, buckle up. Yesterday they miss-said words in the cutest possible way! They couldn’t walk or talk, then they learned. Yesterday was filled with depression, loneliness, waiting for pre-DrH to get off work, for friends to get off work. Yesterday we hadn’t the time or money to go anywhere. Yesterday we were married, had 2 babies, and much love. Yesterday there was ups and downs, trials and blessings, struggles and good times. Yesterday I lived by my best friend. Yesterday they learned to ride bikes, made friends, brought me joy and laughter (and frustration!!!).
Tomorrow they will go out into the world. They will be changing diapers and potty training their kids. Tomorrow they will know more words than me. They will walk and talk to change the world. Tomorrow I’ll have to be one of those who work. Tomorrow we will go more places than ever before. Tomorrow we will still be married, and my babies will have babies of their own, and we will still have much love. Tomorrow will also have ups and downs, trials and blessings, struggles and good times. Tomorrow my health will decline, my friends will die. Tomorrow my best friend will come for a visit. Tomorrow they will make me proud of the men they have become!
Today though, today they buckle themselves, wipe their own butts, and still let me hug them in public. Today they are still little and innocent. They make me sweet cards and tell cute stories. They are filled with wonder and curiosity. Today I get some time to relax and do some things I want. Today I get to see them grow up. Today we have gotten to see some amazing places and make memories for tomorrow’s yesterdays. Today I have help for my depression and friends to hang with who also don’t have to work. Today has ups and downs, trials and blessings, struggles and good times. Today I am grateful for today! Today I am blessed.