Balance

Wow guys. I am finding out that I don’t do so well without friends. Or husband. He’s been working regular Dr hours again. Which means I’m single parenting it for most of my time. Yesterday was pretty exciting though. He finally got his first day off since starting on the 20th! Yay! We also are under contract for selling our West home, and under another for buying one here.

So today I should be on cloud nine right now. And yet I’m not. I feel stressed, tired, bored, unproductive. And this all triggers depression for me. And with no network of friends to help give me a break, no home to get settled into, and DrH working Dr hours (11-16 hrs/day 6 days/week) it all seems to just keep piling up right now. Ah depression my good friend. I love when you visit. (can you hear the sarcasm?)

What is great is that this place already feels like where we live instead of a foreign place we don’t belong, except for that bit about us living in a hotel.  And lets be honest, when I have nothing really to do I go a little crazy. Doing things with friends and having something planned with people really helps. Except when the introvert side is winning. I guess I’m finding that having balance in my life is the difference between things being annoying and stressful or being depressed and anxious. Can’t wait till I can actually feel happiness and excitement for all this good stuff. But for now you’ll all have to feel the excitement for me. I’ll be able to fully join you soon I think.

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TT:

Thankful Thursday Logo bThis week has been rough. Really rough. Lots of different issues and stresses to deal with. Having things wait and be on hold till one thing is taken care of. Looking at homes is somewhat stressful for us anyway, but it’s also been on a partial hold until this week. One thing after another, and several odd things altogether, making it feel like everyone is dishonest and trying to nickel and dime us. I know that’s not the case, but it can seem that way when there are several unexpected expenses close together. Seems too much for coincidence, but it is just coincidence. Ugh.

But on the bright side (which is what Thankful Thursday posts are about) we got to start making some new friends a little this week. We went over to their house for dinner, the kids played great together, and we all had fun. Yay! Cuz putting myself out there to make new friends super stresses me out. Introvert! (Don’t you wish you lived by our new friends? They are super lucky with these views!)LWRES_2175LWRES_2180Also on Tuesday a friend came out to see us. We met them in New England, then they moved for fellowship (the last possible stage of residency). They have lived in the next state over from where we just moved for the last year, and are moving out west this weekend. So it was super fun to have a small overlap of time where we lived only a few hours away. Since all their stuff is basically packed they road tripped it over here to hang with us on our new beach and have some fun for the day before driving back home. Being able to hang out and see them again, plus have fun socializing with new people has really been what’s made this tough week possible to get through. So grateful for those tender mercies.

Oh and on the fun stressful side, I get to go solo with the kids in the hotel starting next week as DrH starts residency… (a very feeble) Yay. But then we’ll get some money coming in instead of JUST going out. So that’s good.

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Pulling the penguin back out to help me through this transition.

Its Coming!

2 weeks!!!! Ahhhhhh, that’s all we have left before we move. Moving is one of those things that always seems like it’s next month. But then you realize it’s for real happening, and not in the dreamy future, but now! Always a weird feeling, that.

When I got married I moved out of the parent’s house and never looked back. Would have liked to move out sooner, but couldn’t afford rent AND film/processing (photo major). But we still lived around the same area that I knew. Fast forward a bunch of years, when we found out we got into Med School in New England… Well that was truly my first time moving away from home. It was hard. I felt sad that I couldn’t take all the good things with me and continue on. Life was going to go on without me there, and I was going to miss it all.

My family was having a family reunion the week we moved and posting pictures on Facebook. It kinda really sucked the first few weeks. And it was harder than I thought it would be. When we went home for Christmas that first year, I was just barely starting to feel like we belonged in New England. But then going home was weird. It didn’t feel like home for the first time in my life. And when we got back to New England, it didn’t quite feel like home anymore either. For a few months I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. And then it was home, and going to the west was visiting.

And now I have to leave home again. But this time I know better what type of emotions to expect, and that I can get through it. It’s sad leaving, but we aren’t the only ones moving on this time. Nor are we the first in our group of friends from out here. I still expect to feel homesick and all that, but I feel more excited and ready emotionally this time. And I’m excited to see what adventures will come our way from this move. T-2 weeks till real Mexican food! Bigger beaches! And a whole lot of unknown fun!

Freaking Out Inside

I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving weekend. Ours was great. Yummy food and good friends to share it with, I’m sad that we most likely won’t get to do Thanksgiving with them anymore. We’ve had Thanksgiving every year with with my good friend, A, and her family since moving here 4 years ago. Others have joined us randomly but it’s always been our two families. It will be weird and sad to not do it together anymore.

Also new this week, well as of a few hours ago, I have a job interview. What?! I’m sorta freaking out inside. Nervous and excited, it’s been a while since I’ve had to do an interview. But I think it will go well, and the schedule looks like it’s just what I need for a schedule at this time.

Here’s hoping….

TT: Time

Thankful Thursday Logo bI won’t lie, I’m more than ready for DrH to come home. Monday was especially hard. Not quite to the half way mark, but so close. It felt like he had been gone forever, but that it was going to be even longer than that before he comes home. Now just a few days later it seems like it’s almost Tuesday. (when he get’s back home) Time is a funny thing. It can seem so slow, or fast, and somehow it can be crazy and be both at the same time.

I’ve been lucky to have good friends to have plans with to help me not become crazy over this 2 week time. And I’m super grateful for technology! The fact that we can Skype often is fantastic, and makes this time away more doable. I know that in a little while we’ll look back and it will seem a lot shorter than it does now.

For now? I’m thankful for the many blessings I have. 2 crazy cute kids, the best husband in the world (sorry, but it’s true), good friends and fun times and projects. I’ve recently redone a small bookshelf and I think it turned out great! I’m so excited about it, and about the way my coffee table is turning out (more on these projects soon). And for good measure, but mostly because I noticed it got left off the last post accidentally…054

Family Photos

I did a photo shoot for my friend last week. It’s funny how all of a sudden I have a few shoots lined up. But I’m not complaining. It’s been fun, and given me some extra cash. It was super fun to take the pictures at a local apple orchard. Next month I have 2 lined up at a different orchard. So blessed to live in such a beautiful place!041013

TT: Success

Thankful Thursday Logo bWell I got through two photo shoots and they turned out great! I can’t be more excited. When taking pictures of kids it’s always anyone’s guess as to how things will go. But I was able to get some really great shots in both shoots. And as usual no real issues with exposure, or composure, which I still don’t know why I worry about. But I do.

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My good friend, J, just had her baby a couple weeks ago, and I talked her into doing a shoot. (ok I asked if she wanted some- didn’t take much convincing on either side.) So I ended up with two shoots instead of one over the last week.004 010I also figured out how to export my low-res with the signature already on it. Bonus! Yay for Lightroom watermarks.