Making it Home

Honestly I did not expect it to be so long between posts. But i guess a new house will do that to you. That and regular life starting too.

The kids are in school, the hubs is at work (as always), and our new house is slowly becoming out home. Most of the paint we want is up, new carpets for the bedrooms are being taken care of as I type, and hopefully we’ll have bedrooms 100% set up this weekend. B2 has been sleeping in what will become our computer room/library. We moved him there to paint his room, and since the carpet was only a week later, we’ve left him there. With all the bedrooms currently not in the bedrooms, the house seems cramped, but that’s ok cuz it soon won’t be, and the fugly carpets are going away. Yay! (and hopefully with it, my allergies that kicked up yesterday and don’t seem to want to settle down.)

Here’s some of what we’ve been working on… Unpacking, taking down built ins, new dining chairs, getting rid of grandma pink, and finally a sample of what life was like this morning after getting everything out of bedrooms. (please ignore that they are horrid phone pictures, it’s all I had energy for, and by that I mean I need a better phone camera)

Pokemon-ing

So a couple weeks back we decided to find a place to enjoy a family walk. And of course the boys (all 3) had to go Pokemon hunting. Aka Pokemoning. (just a term I’m coining. No? ok) It was a great way to get out and NOT hear complaining the whole time. Usually a few minutes in if they are bored or hot, or both, B1 and 2 want to know when we’ll be done and can go home. But if they even think they’re having fun…IMG_2382We had a fun time, we found a new place to enjoy, and the boys caught tonz of Pokemon. As for me? Well this is the type of Pokemon I caught.

Welcome to the Hotel California

Have you ever stayed at a hotel and seen people come down for the free breakfast in their pajamas? Maybe you’ve seen someone walking around with their hair up in a towel. Maybe they have a hamper or two on their hip. Maybe their hair is in the towel, a hamper on each hip and a bright pink workout bra is peaking out on their shoulders. I would like to say hi, we’re the people living in the hotel. Welcome to our home. (and I may, or may not, have done all of the previous things)

We’ve only lived here for a little more than a week 2 weeks (yes, I’ve been that slow at getting this posted), and I have to say it’s definitely a unique experience. We’ve stayed in hotels several times before, but staying a night or a few is very different than living in a hotel. Even if it’s only been a week 2 weeks so far. Our plan was to stay in some type of temporary place until we could find a home to buy. We’ll be in this lovely state for at least 5 years, so it makes sense to us. Our temporary place ending up being this fantastic hotel. And it’s unlike anything.

It’s a bit like living in an apartment, except that you don’t have a full apartment. And you share breakfast with your family and your closest 20 strangers. And honestly it’s harder to live in a hotel than you think. It sounds fun, and honestly it’s not too bad, but it’s not as fun as you might think. Extended time at close quarters. Being on a long vacation, except you don’t have money to do anything because you aren’t actually on vacation. You try to live real life, but it’s surreal since your in a hotel. Weird, sometimes fun, sometimes boring you to death.  And like life, much nicer when you have friends to do things with. But that’s a story for another post…

Grumpy House

This house is grumpy today! Has been the last couple of days. I think it’s time for Spring Break to be over and kids go back to school. I mean I love having several days in a row of fighting and fussing… but… oh wait, no I don’t. But as we near moving I think this type of attitude is to be expected more than usual. The boys are probably feeling nervous about the new area and making friends, and sad to leave the friends and places here. But they don’t even know that’s what’s going on inside them right now. They just know they feel emotional and easily upset. And as 6 and 9 yr olds they don’t even know how to handle feelings.

Deep breaths.

But things are finally starting to fall into place with everything that’s going on right now. We’re under contract with selling our house out West (post coming soon), I think we may have finally found a temporary place to live as we figure out this new area, we still get a little bit of packing done each week, and DrH is healing from a hernia repair (as if we didn’t already have enough to deal with). I only have 2 1/2 weeks of work left, my parents will be coming out for graduation, and I think we have our road trip figured out for stops to see fun things as we move. Plus my dad or both parents may be able to road trip with us which will be fun for them and great memories for the kids. And we get to see them that much longer.

TT: Health

Thankful Thursday Logo bThis week B2 has been sick. Like super sick. Stay at home from school 4 days sick. His tonsils were HUGE! this is not an exaggeration. He had a constant fever. And for 2 of 6 days was a complete lump. Finally today he’s doing much better. Still slightly swollen tonsils, and slight fever. But able to move around, talk, have some personality. Still stayed home today, he was right on that line of he maybe could go to school, but it’s probably better for him to stay home one last day so it doesn’t get worse again. So we did.

Tomorrow though, he’s going back to school. I’m so done with him being sick. Actually I hate when anyone at our house is sick. Being sick is lame! Luckily so far none of the rest of us have gotten this lovely virus. And I hope we don’t. One of us being sick for a week is enough. Plus B1 has his birthday party this Saturday, so anyone being sick would just not work for us right now. So grateful for our health, the fact that our family doesn’t get sick as often as some. So grateful my work totally gets it and was flexible, and that DrH was able to shift some days around so we could tag team staying at home. And super grateful no one else seems to have it!

Here’s to everyone’s health!

Maybe it wouldn’t have lasted so long if we hadn’t gone to the Mardi Gras parade Saturday… but then we wouldn’t have seen Darth Vader in beads.070

Not What I Expected PT 1

A long time ago in a land far away (ie 2003 in another state) I was nearing the end of classes for my Associate’s. And as I sat in the business class I just had this thought come to me, “I won’t be doing this as a profession, it’s going to be more important to have a family.” The type of photography I wanted to do at the time was photojournalism of some sort. And I knew that in that type of work it would be really hard to start and mother a family. At least for me, I’m not that great at distance relationships. Always going places for assignment, or being out shooting all the time so I could get a few freelance jobs. There wouldn’t  be enough time for me to also devote to my family.

Do know what makes this really crazy?! I wasn’t even dating anyone at the time. What?! But I knew how important it would be for me to have a family, so I started trying to think of what else I could do in life. I really struggled, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. I thought from age 16 that I would do some type of photography for my work. I freaked out inside a lot of days, my personality likes to plan and I couldn’t plan anything since I had no idea what else really interested me. So when I suddenly found myself engaged a few months later I had a huge sigh of relief. I knew what my future was to an extent and I didn’t need to worry anymore about any of that growing up nonsense. I would get married, we’d work and have fun, and eventually have kids. So I was set for the next 10-15 years at least right? I would be a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) and I would think about what I want to be when I grow up later.

It took some time and emotional toll, but eventually we had a baby. And he was beautiful! At the time I worked part time as a crossing guard. And I continued this until just before the birth of our second son. And then I knew I needed to stay home full time with them. And so I did. And it wasn’t anything like I expected. My days weren’t that full, I wasn’t feeling fulfilled, my friends worked so I had no one to hang out with during the day. The second pregnancy and birth threw off my hormones a lot too, our second car died right around that time. So I found myself, stuck at home, lonely, nothing to do, no one to do it with, and even if there would have been something I would still have no way to get there to do it. And I was depressed. I mean all that is depressing enough on it’s own, but I had depression as well.

Parent Expectations

Credit: Pict one,  Pict two

I’ve struggled over the years. I liked being a SAHM, but it was also lonely, and somewhat unfulfilling. Seriously, kids don’t thank you for all your hard work, and it started seeming as if nothing I did really mattered. And the few times I was with other adults, ha, my contribution to the convo was how I’d seen a Curious George episode about that. Don’t get me wrong, I love Curious George, but he’s not really adult kind of talk.

A few weeks ago I found this post on Facebook. And it really got me thinking about my experiences as a SAHM. It’s called 10 Dark Parenting Truths. #4 and 5 really struck me.

4. You might give up pieces of yourself that you once loved

No one has it all. No mother. No father. No person. All of life involves sacrifice, and parenting always demands its share of it.

It’s like those friends who stay, or return, or never come back at all. Some dreams and passions and loves stay even after the babies are born. Some return. Others don’t.

 

As a SAHM struggling with depression and other fun stuff, I had lost some of my identity. One day I realized I didn’t know who I was besides a Mom. I didn’t know what I liked anymore. Mothering and depression had taken over and I lost all other identity. It was overwhelming! I prayed a lot, and cried a lot. Then I started to write some. What I liked about myself (I love my long hair). Things I used to like. Things I felt I still liked. Things that interested me, things I wanted to do some day. Things others saw in me. It’s taken some time, and I’m still not fully there, but over the past 5-6 years I’ve been piecing me together again, and seeing who I am today. Finding that I am a mom, and a wife, but also so much more. Getting help with the depression made a HUGE difference in this.

5. You might find parenting unfulfilling

In fact, I would argue that parenting is not completely fulfilling for anyone—nor should it be. Our children’s lives cannot and should not consume our own (much as they might devour our time and attention). Our children are not and should not be viewed as extensions of ourselves.

Parenting can fill one with love and wonder and joy. But it cannot take the place of all the other possible loves and wonders and joys in the world.

Reading about these two things has helped put all the past crap I went through into perspective, and also taught me I’m not alone or abnormal in these feelings. Being a SAHM wasn’t what I thought it would be, but I’m still so glad that I did it. Not much in life ever happens the way we think it will, or feel the way we thought/want. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it, in fact somewhere along the way we find out a little bit more about ourselves, life, and those we love. And it’s great! Different than we though, but great!

 

TT: Cooking Skills

Thankful Thursday Logo bSo I want to start out with a small math problem for you. Ready?

Alarm+kids on pc=me forgetting to blog

Pretty good equation. And now for your regularly scheduled program…

This week I am thankful for the ability to make real Mexican food. I grew up in a state that its readily available, and ranged from authentic to Americanized. And all of it delicious. Now I live in a place that doesn’t even know what horchata is. And if you don’t either you don’t know what your missing. Creamy deliciousness in a glass. Its a cinnamon rice milk and I loooooooovvvvvvvveeeee it. And I’ve missed it dearly. Luckily I found a recipe for it. Not just any recipe, a good one. It’s not quite the same as at the restaurant, but its still super good. One good thing about having to move soon, is that no matter where we end up it’ll have better Mexican food than here. And then I’ll be able to buy it instead of make it.

horchata

I miss tamales, they don’t even have the horrid frozen kind. T-minus 4 1/2 months till the real deal.